I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize