the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
