Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
