can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
