so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
