Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
