DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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