i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Be still, my beating vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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