what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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