You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
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I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
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You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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