Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
