Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
there was a trapeze. enough said
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
