How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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