I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
