i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
