So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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