How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
