u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
