this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
