But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
