I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
