Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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