They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
