I showed him my bush... on skype.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize