people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
