You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize