are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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