im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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