I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
