I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
