Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We need to rekindle our bromance
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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