is wine microwaveable?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
