I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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