yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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