I forgot how hot balto sounded
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
