I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low