I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
