thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does