I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.