After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live