in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
