You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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