Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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