so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
