Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
