He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
