When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize