I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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