At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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