i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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