I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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