break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I've blown a few things in my day
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
