i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
