the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize