The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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