You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
