im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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