then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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