Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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