plz talk dirty to me
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
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The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
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No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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