Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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