i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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