Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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