who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
