Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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